The Newly Inaugurated "Most In Need of Positivity" Award

Peter Corlett abuse at
Thu Aug 10 20:46:11 BST 2006

On Wed, Aug 09, 2006 at 08:24:21AM +0100, Billy Abbott wrote:
> I once worked in a warehouse with a radio which was broken and permanently
> tuned to Virgin (or at least that was the reason given when anyone got too
> close to the radio with intentions of making it all stop). After a few
> weeks my friend Ben could almost be reduced to tears by people humming
> "Breakfast at Tiffanys" by Deep Blue Something...

Figuring that the BBC play the same crap payola every other unimaginative
radio station does, I rifled through "Today's Top Songs" on iTMS to find
what's been driving me up the wall at work.

I am now off to make a wax effigy of the Scissor Sisters and take a
fully-automatic nailgun to it for "I Don't Feel Like Dancin'" on what feels
like constant loop on the office radio. It was terrible the first time I
heard it and it's not improved one iota with repetition, quite the opposite
in fact...

Since I've decided that the radio goes or I do, and company policy is that
Everybody Enjoys Listening To The Radio[1], would anybody like a copy of my

Now, if you don't mind, I'm just going to punch my head through the wall a
few times until the pain goes away.

[0] It has an interesting design feature in that it is unable to reproduce
    sounds above about 300Hz or below about 80dB. So what I basically get to
    listen to is doof-doof-doof with a bassline which I can't even block out
    with headphones. It is also unable to tune to anything other than Radio
    1, Radio 2 and Virgin.

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