OT: It's arrived!

[Lyle - CosmicPerl.com]

graham wrote:
> Lyle - CosmicPerl.com wrote:
>   
>> Been lurking (and sometimes posting) in my local LUG for some time. Will
>> post any hosting related queries there in future.
>>
>>     
>
> If you do that, in a month or so this mailing list will go into the next
> phase of its cycle, which is agonized soul-searching about how perl
> programmers' bitchiness and inability to relate like normal folks is
> responsible for the decline of the language...
>
> Graham
>
>   
I think those are some great comments.

All this has certainly helped me put together a rules list for 
Bristol.pm and Bath.pm.

  I've always thought that Perl is for everyone, and anyone who's keen 
to learn should be welcomed and get help. Sometimes a newbies questions 
seem stupid, but we were all newbies once, we all had to learn, and we 
all had stupid questions of our own. Perl knowledge isn't something that 
should be locked away in a box where you have to push in your pennies to 
get the answers. That defeats the whole point in Perl, and what Larry 
intended it to be. It's open source, it's free, remember that!
  Nasty comments, personal insults, virtual threats??? Anger, hatred, 
the dark side are they. Is this really what has become of 'a selected 
few' of the world renowned LPM?

 From the london.pm.org homepage - "


    So, what is this all about ?

We are a group of people dedicated to the encouragement of all things 
Perl-like in London. This involves *helping* each other, *discussing 
<http://london.pm.org/join/> * topics, *sharing* information and the 
occasional drink and mention of Buffy the Vampire Slayer."


I can tell you that Bristol and Bath.pm will be a friendly place where 
new comers are welcomed, and their questions answered maybe with a 
little jest and humor, but not with insults.

In one of my many quests to understand women I read a book by a 
psychologist. In that book there was a section about arguing, and how to 
argue right. Where the psychologist had trained the professors had set 
rules as to how they would handle disputes, when the comments or actions 
of a college upset them.
Firstly they should talk to them about it as soon as it was suitable, 
and not let it eat at them and turn into something nasty.
Secondly they were allowed to express to each other exactly how 
frustrated they were, and how strongly they felt, but they were never 
allowed to digress to personal insults or threats.
For example
"The comments you made about XXX really annoyed me earlier, I think you 
are wrong and this is why..." is fine
or even "The comments you made about XXX really pissed me off earlier, I 
think you are wrong and this is why..."
whereas something like "The comments you made about XXX are stupid, 
don't you know anything?? What are you some sort of cheap skate that 
can't even figure out you need to pay someone to do that for you as you 
are never going to be smart enough to figure it out you thick shit. 
Here, if you must, lookup this, now fuck off!"
Would not be the right way to get across your feelings.

If you think of arguments you've had in the past you'll probably see how 
effective this is and is, IMHO the best thing I took away from the book 
(although it can be pretty frustrating when you're girlfriend is 
slagging you off in an argument, although when she calms down you'll get 
respect for keeping the moral high ground and she'll feel bad for it).

I know I'm not perfect, my communication skills aren't great and unless 
you know me then I assume that some of my comments can be taken the 
wrong way. I can admit that I'm wrong some times. I did a post where I 
said someone's threat to me was pathetic, that was wrong. He could well 
have taken me saying pathetic personally.


"
I have a *Dream*!
  Where a Perl hack isn't judged by the colour of his *skills*!
     But by his eagerness and ability to *learn*!
"

I apply this to my business and my kick boxing club. If I interview 
someone who is arrogant and thinks they know it all, then I show them 
the door. I won't be able to work with them, they won't be able to learn 
new ways of doing things. If I have a kick boxing student who is 
naturally gifted but has no passion to learn, and another who isn't as 
naturally gifted but is eager to practice and learn. I know from 
experience that the first is likely to give up as soon as he tries a 
technique he can't do, or looses a fight. Whereas the second is much 
more likely to get his black belt or become a Champion.


Just my 2 quid...
I'm here to stay :)


Lyle